Posted by: Enya mak | November 1, 2009

seventh post


peception can be really interesting as different people are able to have different view on the same subject or object and it can be caused by many different reasons

for example when a person is diagnosed with a flu person A may be all worried about the patient and trying to look for all sorts or method to help the person to recover quickly however person B may just not be bother saying that it is only just a small illness and that he or she will not die from it.

the media do shape our perceptions with a great impact , it shapes how women are viewed in this age and time that woman can be on equal level as man , that a certain figure is the best and most attractive figure and even change the mind set of many woman out there.

our culture also influences our perception , if we belong in a collectivist we tend to see issues such as when a person is feeling down we ll try as much as we can to comfort the person till he or she feels better whereas as a individualis they tend to show concern but only to a certain extend as they may feel that i have tried my best but he still does not want to cheer up i cant do anything much to help  him he can only help himself.


Posted by: Enya mak | October 18, 2009

sixth post


when  i entered university of buffalo everyone who asked me my age would definitely ask me this question : why didnt you go to JC or poly ? well.. to answer that question i didnt intend to take the Junior College route and i did not managed to get the course which i wanted to attend in polytechnic therefore i looked into other alternatives – Private schools and i so happen to find out that i was doing a degree when i was half way into my first semester.

by the time i graduate i will probably be about 19/20 years old while many of my other friends would just start their university life. CULTURE was what was taught in class the previous lesson, people choose to go different paths after secondary schools could be affected by the culture they are brought up in.

many may go through the traditional route of going to junior college get a A level certificate and go into local university while some would go into polytechnics get a diploma in a course they like and proceed onto university.

whereas a minority like me would take a shorter route by going straight to a private university . many parents would choose to play it save by at least having a A level or diploma certificate so that  if their children do not do well in university they still have a backing to depend on so enter other universities whereas others would think that by going into university straight after an O level would save alot of  time for the child although a huge amount may be spent at one go but if you think about it those who go through JC or ploy also spend almost as much as the amount of going straight into university.

culture really shapes ones perception about things wheather the parents are conventional and prefer the child to go through the normal route that that majority would go through or that they would prefer the child to via the private school or even to be homeschooled through out their entire school life.

Posted by: Enya mak | October 17, 2009

fifth post

my dad mentioned about how all korean artist have almost the perfect nose and with big double eye lids whereas among the locals have are button nose and often small and singled eyelids. this probably shows that many korean artist goes through plastic surgery just so to have that so called perfect features and to be beautiful.

do people really have such low self esteem in terms of how they look ? i guess its true especially in the mordern social context where the media plays a very big role in shaping people’s perception about certain things. being pretty with big eyes  lusciouse lips and high nose bridge and a really slim body is what almost every girl would think is considered pretty and beautiful.

but do looks really matter or it is really what on the inside that counts ? i guess to a extend it does matter people always see someone based on how they look before approaching them . for example if a guy think that a girl is pretty and slim theres a higher chance that he will approach her as compared to a chubby girl.

Posted by: Enya mak | October 4, 2009

fourth post

people come and go in our lives,whenever we meet new friends it always takes time to get to know one another and whenever someone part from us it ll take time to break the bond between both person. Through the Knapp Model of Relational Development it is pretty much clearly stated as to how we form and break bonds in relationships.

In the form of a boy girl relationship be it platonic or romantic the first stage ,Initiating,when boy meets girl or girl sees boy they would each scan the other person to see if the person is approachable or not usually in terms of how they present themselves, how they dress and how they speak and their gestures.

After “scanning” the person,experimenting comes into play where the they feel that the other person seem interesting they would want to get to know the person more and better they would often ask for the other person’s contact number emails etc so as to be able to get more chance to speak to the person more and to hang out with each other as well as to “comfirm” if they really want to create a relationship with the other party.

Platonic relationship often stops at experimenting stage although there are still chances that they become good friends instead of lovers at the intensifying stage. Intensifying of the relationship starts when both parties acknowledged that they are friends and increasing contact with each other slowly they would also start to trust and disclose their feelings although they may be together but at the same time they still have each of their personal space.

At the Intergrating stage,where romantic relationships occurs, couples would then proclaim that they are one as a unit. Over years of Bonding couples they would go through significant public rituals and formalise the obligation of commitment.

However not all couples end up happily married. sometimes when couples starts to feel out-of-place Differentiating occurs, where they would try to reaffirm their individuality in the relationship and intense differentiation would occur and this reflects that both parties may have gone into the relationship too quickly. circumscribing would then happen where they both do not feel like communicating with each other stagnating occurs and at this point in time both would not feel happy as they have before. Avoiding then happens when they do not even want to see the other party and slowly the withdrawing emotionally and physically.when the relationship fails Terminating of the relationship occurs and they both move on.

this stages does not only apply to any boy girl relationships it also occurs in friendships and even kinship. many people may not know that they are actually going through these process in their lives unconsciously. When you get into a new school you would look around and see of there is anyone you can approach and when you start making friends you ll start to know if you really like them and enjoy the company and create new relations. Bonds may break too even if you were the best of friends with lesser and lesser contact with each other and not knowing what both parties are up to people may change and bonds break.

you never know when these relations would end so cherish those around you but at the same time do look out and form more relations who knows what type of people you may meet.

Posted by: Enya mak | September 27, 2009

third post

A social networking site such as facebook, people are able to stay in contact with friends from all over the world at anytime and anywhere but it can also be a deadly one.

A site where people are not only able to find more friends from other countries but also to show their “private” lifes through personal infomation, photos and videos.

When people posts such form of communicative tools it can expose them to a certain degree of danger as other people are able to find actions or infomations that could harm the person in ways such as spreading rumours. or even worst to cyber bully where all bullying is done via technology such as msn facebook emails etc.

Having internet is a great form of communication where people from anywhere in the world will able to gain access to infomation which may not be spread in their own country but infomation sent may not nescessary be the right information such as the rise of pronography in the past it may be a personal indulgence but in the recent years poronography can be easily attained through websites and this has also lead to the rise of of crimes such as rape and molestation

internet is never safe thats for sure be it infomation wise or even when it comes to social networking .

Posted by: Enya mak | September 20, 2009

second post

homosexuals=normal people , they are exactly the same as anyone of us ,heterosexuals,they have feelings they have their own thoughts and mindsets  they are just like anyone of us but why do people feel discrimination towards them. in the past having them coming out of the closet was a big whoha and nono that everyone will hate them even their family but today in the 21st century almost every homosexuals have admitted that they are one even some societies have accepted it but why cant some people accept it example singapore where gay marriage is not legalised even when there are so many of them walking in the streets.

having a best friend who is a lesbian made me realised that they are just as normal as we all are just that they are attracted to the same sex gender. sometimes when i am just hanging out with her i do get the look from passer-bys proabably thinking if she was a he or are they really a lesbian couple which i have once over heard a group of boys asking among themselves but it doesnt matter to me because what really matters is our friendship and that i know that other than the fact that she like a she, she is a wonderful friend!

people may be starting to open up to this “whole new concept” but there is probably still a long way to go before everyone can accept it wholeheartedly.

Posted by: Enya mak | September 11, 2009

first post

was listening to a song called THE KISS by KARMINA the music video featured couples who are very different from the normal couples out there. they have different family backgrounds cultures age gaps but yet under pressure from family ,friends and their society they managed to overcome it all.

I know we don’t belong
Everyone says it’s wrong
We come from different ways
So I tried to erase everything that I felt
That I felt

But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
From the KISS
From the KISS

My heart is getting loud
I’m trying to keep it down
I wish the world could hear
But I can’t help but fear that they’ll take you away
You away

But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
From the KISS
From the KISS

Palm to palm
Let lips do what hands do
They pray
Is it a sin
To do what we want to?
Don’t care where we’ve been
Give me my sin again

But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
But then you kissed me and suddenly I don’t care any more
Something in me tells me you’re the one I’m looking for
From the KISS
From the KISS

in this modern society it  is alright to be in a relationship with someone of a different culture different race ,someone who is very much older or younger than you or even having a different social status but honestly do you think that everybody has accepted such “norms” .On the outside people may not say anything but maybe deep down they may still have their doubts and discriminations

people often list out how they want their future partners to be like physically and also the personality example for a girl she would want her partner to be tall, goodlooking, strong ,humourous ,smart, a chinese or eurasian and for a guy he would want her to have a hot body, pretty ,intelligent ,able to cook ,an indian or malay. but very often the partner we ll end up with can be very different from what we have always been expecting like for the girl marrying a japanese who is shorter and smaller built and very introvert and for a guy he may end up marrying a chubby girl. in the end its the personality and chemistry that really counts

just like cases of chinese girls marrying an american or a 17 year old malay girl dating a 50 year old malay man there may be other factors which caused them to be together like money and security but at the same time it could really just be love

love probably does make us blind at times

Posted by: Enya mak | September 8, 2009

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